Love is what we all want to pursue. And being loved is a strong affirmation that we are worthy of something.
But relying on external sources for love and compassion might be dangerous and would sometimes make us codependent and have unhealthy behavior. That’s why we should all be loving ourselves before loving anyone else.
When you love yourself enough, you are setting a standard for how you want yourself to be treated. But self-love may bring you more…
Self-love means the love for oneself, which is the appreciation for ourselves as a person. And it doesn’t limit to a piece of chocolate or a solo vacation now and then. It goes deeper than the surface. (Although I love those things too… )
So what is self-love?
Self-love is loving yourself whole-heartedly and objectively, which means:
Knowing your strength and weaknesses (embrace your darkness and your light)
Validating your emotions and valuing mental health
Embracing your imperfections
Prioritizing your needs
Patience with your personal growth
Forgiving and learning from your past mistakes and knowing those mistakes do not define you if you learn and can be accountable.
The way you love yourself defines how you want to be treated in a relationship!
By taking care of yourself and appreciating yourself, you project an image of an independent person in a relationship. When you don’t need external affirmations to assure your value, you set the standard. You will not be afraid of being left alone because you know you deserve the best. This is how I was able to walk away from men that did not treat me right. I know I deserved better.
Aside from its influences on intimate relationships, self-love can benefit us in various aspects of life. It might be the best investment because a little effort every day can result in a huge improvement in our lives on so many levels.
It removes the fear of being rejected or abandoned and thus helps reduce stress and anxiety. When we are ok with being alone it is a feeling of power and freedom!
Self-growth is the best thing that happens on the trail of self-love. When you value yourself and care about your happiness and well-being, you are less likely to allow toxic relationships or bad habits to stay in your way.
Some tips that have helped me:
Do daily affirmations
Keep your home and car organized (office too)
Get creative, it can be so therapeutic
Embrace being alone, enjoy the quiet
Read something that inspires you
Go to therapy to learn your patterns, be accountable
For a bonus, a spa day always helps me and a new lipstick!
Be well, stay healthy and strong! Embrace the change and your journey.